Marriage counselor weighs in on Scwarzenegger scandal
Posted: May 17, 2011 6:46 PM CDT Updated: May 17, 2011 6:53 PM CDT
By Tracy Clemons - email
CLICK ON LINK FOR KSLA CHANNEL 12 NEWS VIDEO
2:54 |
"I really think that it's wrong because he kept it from his wife, and in a marriage you're supposed to share everything."
To Harvey
"...keeping that secret for a long time, and I really think that's not right," he says.
The former California Governor is not the first man to cheat on his wife, and he won't be the last.
"Initially it's a shock, but then you kind of think well nobody is immune to it. It affects stars. It affects your average everyday guys too," says Martin Miller LPC.
Miller says he counsels patients who some would call people of power.
"They'll tell me in counseling that everyone thinks we're the perfect couple. It is surprising sometimes when you realize that people can really hide and cover things up well when they need to."
"Power in life can make you feel like you can get away with a lot more in life," adds Michael Harvey.
There are signs that your husband or wife could be cheating, says Miller.
"They get defensive about where they've been or what they've been doing, and that sort of thing. Financial problems because they're spending money on gifts and things like that."
Other signs are changes in sexual behavior or affection. Miller tells us the person cheating might say they need their alone time, or have unexplained absences. He adds that they may start going places they didn't go before, like clubs.
But the question many might be asking is: why cheat?
"A lot of times, entitlement is an issue. The person just feels they deserve to be able to have other relationships in addition to their marriage."
Miller tells KSLA News 12 that people should get help if they start seeing these signs.
"A lot of times people just don't want to deal with it. It's too painful, it's too difficult."
But dealing with it is a key to saving the marriage.
"The sooner you address it, the better, then the less damage, and the less work there's going to be to recover from an affair."
We've put a link to Martin Miller's Healing Heart Counseling Center
Copyright 2011 KSLA-TV. All rights reserved
